STAYING CURIOUS

Song for Today: "Brand New Shoes" by: Paolo Nutini

Every day is a new battle. Every moment is a choice. You can choose to feel one way or another about something. You can choose how you react regardless of your feelings. But sometimes, because of pride, or insecurities, or lack of understanding, our emotions get the best of us. My journey for the past 3 months has been a tough one. I've decided to conquer my insecurities. I've had dreams about being chased by some entity, and recently in those dreams I've begun to turn around and decide to fight. I feel like this is my brain's way of coping with the new way of thinking I've adopted. There are numerous strategies I've incorporated into my day to day living and my reactions, that have begun a shift in my emotions. One of those strategies is staying curious.

Curiosity is healthy, inherent, and humbling. Now, I'm not talking about being curious about drug abuse, or experimenting and getting weird sexually. God gave you wisdom for a reason. Use it. I'm talking about being willing to admit that you don't know everything, and feeling good about it. You have so many amazing experiences ahead of you! be humble enough to ask questions (this is also a great way to get to know people. People LOVE to talk about themselves). Being adventurous means different things to different people. Maybe you've never rented a movie from a Red Box machine, GO NUTS! Maybe you've never been on a zip line, HAVE FUN! Maybe you'd like to know what a five star restaurant is like, MODERATION! (seriously though, make sure you can afford it).

"Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil"

-Proverbs 3:7 (NLT)

Explore! Learn! Go ask that girl to dance! Be the first one to sing karaoke! Try a new flavor of coffee! Inevitably you'll come across things you don't like, or things you're not good at, but don't worry about it! Now you know!

If you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about this. This revelation brought tremendous freedom and life to me. Especially in a place where everything is cold and dark (physically and spiritually). It also gave me the freedom to admit I'm a newbie at life, the humility to speak up about questions I have or things I've never heard of. And now, all of a sudden, I have no reason to be insecure because I'm excited to learn something new.

CHARACTER AND PERSPECTIVE

I haven't left yet... at least not physically.
I'm having some second thoughts about this whole ordeal.
Actually, some of you still may not really know what's going on. Let me take this opportunity to inform you, and perhaps along the way I'll come to some conclusions of my own.

first of all, I'm not irresponsible. I am not just the sum of bad choices I've made. I got into debt just like millions of other people before me. But I've decided to actually do something drastic about it. I've decided to live at my parents house with no rent, work until everything is paid off, and in the mean time take a break. You'd do the same.

I won't be gone forever, in fact I plan on returning no later that February of 2012. During this time though, I'll be on a mental sabbatical (time of rest) and I believe that God is going to do some major work in my character and perspective. And when I return I want to have greater vision for the future and a drive to push for my dreams.

I leave Thursday morning. I guess the pros outweigh the cons of cold weather, transportation, the fear of the unknown etc.

I've made my decision.