WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Song for Today: "Open Arms" by: Elbow

When you're told something about yourself as a child, you tend to believe it even if it's a lie. And when you grow up being told a lie, that lie gets played over and over again in your head. It can limit you or prevent you from being who you were meant to be. It can hinder relationships, opportunities and even creativity. It can cause unnecessary stress and impossible expectations. It can leave you wondering "what's wrong with me?" I know I've spent a lot of time talking about insecurities, but if you are unaware of the root, than you are just pacifying the symptoms. Insecurities are unwarranted, unwelcome, and untrue.

"For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope"

-Jeremiah 29:11

You have to confront the lie, call it a lie, and recognize that you actually are capable of great things. You have dreams, and maybe you wondered how it's possible that you could dream so big, because maybe you don't think you're capable. Realize that your up-bringing doesn't define you, what people say doesn't define you, you're self worth comes from within.

Awkwardness needs to flee because all of a sudden you are yourself, not what society tells you to be. Absent-mindedness needs to flee because your ideas are meaningful and potentially world-changing. And most of all, Insecurities need to flee because confidence is found within. When Christ lives in you, you are always capable of your full potential.

Don't use your past as an excuse, use it as a testimony. Start today. It's never too late to do something great! There's always hope. Just ask.

CHARACTER AND PERSPECTIVE

I haven't left yet... at least not physically.
I'm having some second thoughts about this whole ordeal.
Actually, some of you still may not really know what's going on. Let me take this opportunity to inform you, and perhaps along the way I'll come to some conclusions of my own.

first of all, I'm not irresponsible. I am not just the sum of bad choices I've made. I got into debt just like millions of other people before me. But I've decided to actually do something drastic about it. I've decided to live at my parents house with no rent, work until everything is paid off, and in the mean time take a break. You'd do the same.

I won't be gone forever, in fact I plan on returning no later that February of 2012. During this time though, I'll be on a mental sabbatical (time of rest) and I believe that God is going to do some major work in my character and perspective. And when I return I want to have greater vision for the future and a drive to push for my dreams.

I leave Thursday morning. I guess the pros outweigh the cons of cold weather, transportation, the fear of the unknown etc.

I've made my decision.